Stop Calling Yourself a Submissive If You Can’t Handle Obedience
You’re Not a Submissive—You’re a Joke in a Collar
“Submissive” isn’t a personality trait or a title you slap onto your bio because you’ve decided it sounds edgy and fun. It’s a role you earn through consistent, unwavering obedience. It’s not about how cute you look in a collar or how many memes about submission you repost—it’s about your actions, your dedication, and your willingness to serve. If you can’t handle the simple act of following a command, let’s be real: you’re not a submissive—you’re a roleplayer.
The Epidemic of Self-Proclaimed “Subs”
Somehow, the term “submissive” has been hijacked by people who wouldn’t know real submission if it hit them with a riding crop. They show up in spaces meant for real D/s dynamics, claiming to be subs, but when you give them even the simplest task—kneel, breathe, wait—they balk. Suddenly, they’re full of excuses:
“I don’t really do that.”
“I’m more into the playful side of things.”
“I only submit to people who chase me.”
Oh, so you’re a situational sub? Newsflash: that’s not submission. That’s just cherry-picking what makes you feel comfortable while avoiding any real surrender. Submission, by its very nature, isn’t supposed to be comfortable all the time—it’s supposed to challenge you, push your limits, and help you grow.
Obedience Is the Core of Submission
At its core, submission is about obedience. Not selective obedience. Not “only when I feel like it” obedience. Real, raw, unfiltered obedience. When a Dominant gives you a command, you don’t negotiate, debate, or overthink it—you follow. That’s what separates real submissives from weekend roleplayers.
Think of it this way: if a Dominant can’t trust you to follow basic instructions, how can they trust you with anything deeper? Submission isn’t about doing what’s easy or fun—it’s about showing up, doing the work, and being reliable. It’s about proving, time and time again, that you are worthy of the dynamic.
The Roleplayer Problem
Roleplayers are the bane of real submissives. They dilute the meaning of submission by misusing the term and muddying the waters for those who are genuinely devoted to serving. They talk a big game but crumble the second they’re given real tasks.
You’ll find them ghosting Dominants after one difficult conversation.
You’ll see them avoiding any responsibility in the dynamic because it’s “not fun.”
They’ll refuse to engage in anything that requires actual discipline or effort.
These are the people who ruin the experience for real subs—the ones who actually crave the structure, discipline, and growth that comes with true submission.
Real Subs Know the Value of Discipline
Ask any real submissive what they value most, and they’ll tell you: discipline. Not just discipline from their Dominant, but self-discipline. Real subs understand that submission isn’t about instant gratification—it’s about long-term commitment and the satisfaction of knowing they’ve pleased the person they serve.
Real subs don’t cherry-pick tasks—they follow them.
Real subs don’t complain about discomfort—they embrace it as part of their journey.
Real subs don’t seek validation for calling themselves a sub—they earn it through their actions.
If you’re calling yourself a submissive but can’t handle the idea of following through on what’s asked of you, it’s time to drop the label and reconsider what you’re really after.
Earn the Title or Stop Using It
Being a submissive isn’t about aesthetics, titles, or fantasy—it’s about real, lived dynamics. It’s about showing up consistently, even when it’s hard, uncomfortable, or inconvenient. If you can’t handle obedience, that’s fine—just don’t call yourself a submissive. Own what you are: a roleplayer, a kinkster, or someone exploring. There’s no shame in that, but there is shame in pretending to be something you’re not.
If you want to wear the title of submissive proudly, you have to earn it. You have to prove that you can handle obedience, discipline, and responsibility. Otherwise, you’re just a joke in a collar—a cosplay character masquerading as something deeper.
Respect the Lifestyle
Real submissives and Dominants put time, effort, and dedication into building meaningful dynamics. They respect the lifestyle and understand that it’s not just about fun—it’s about trust, responsibility, and growth. If you can’t handle obedience, stop cheapening the term “submissive” for those who take it seriously.
So, next time you’re tempted to call yourself a sub, ask yourself: “Can I handle obedience?” If the answer is no, maybe it’s time to take a step back and reflect. And if the answer is yes? Well, then it’s time to kneel, obey, and prove it.